I’ve been suffering from some kind of weird foot pain that is only present sometimes so I searched the interwebz for some relief and I came across the FootSmart Bunion Regulator and I’ve decided that from this point on when somebody asks me what I do for a living I will say I am a bunion regulator.
Whatever you do, do not do an image search for bunions.
Do not click this. It is an image search for bunions.
Don’t click this either. It is the same image search. Bunions.
I remember reading the Physics Of Santa years ago, and it is still one of my favorite Christmas-related things. The rebuttals are even more hilarious.
…353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecrafts re-entering the earth’s atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake.The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity…
I took the day off today and now I’m going to see how many eggs I can eat and then I’m going to play Minecraft and then I will sleep on the couch until late afternoon and I’m also not going to work tomorrow so I need to save some eggs.